My heart still aches for his touch, I can't stand it...I really can't...
I have so much on my shoulders right now it's just hard for me to grasp...I have finals for the next two weeks, I have to cook and clean and keep everyone in my damned family happy, and deal with the physical pain of heartache day after day because I know that I will never have him...On top of my wonderful feeling of a broken heart, I have to deal with getting yelled at, listening to everyone bitch about their problems; I never get a word in. Everything is my fault... EVERYTHING! There's nothing wrong with my fucking perfect life!!! Nope! I'm all happy pickin' roses in a field full of wild flowers!! BIG FUCKING BOWL OF CHERRIES AND THE PITS ARE IN THEM!
I don't know what to do anymore...I've been crying every night for the past week, up until around four in the morning...I'm so tired during the day, not because I sleep weird hours and don't go to bed until 12am, no...it's because I'm up crying...My body is so physically exhausted...
I just want people to stop telling me that I'm being lazy, I want them to do my job for once, be an 18 year old girl who's body is so fucked up she doesn't know whats going on, why don't I function right? Why am I always so depressed? Where are my friends? Where is my family?
I feel like I have no one...
I'm on the edge of a mental breakdown more than I'm already going through...
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